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M and P’s story – adopting in the UK

After we were approved our IAC social worker was contacted by a Local Authority with the profile of a baby who was relinquished at birth and was very premature: there was no other information at the beginning, and a lot of uncertainty health wise due to the early birth, but we decided to follow through. We had actively searched for a profile of a child who would be a good match for us until then, but finally we were 'family found' following our profile being made available on the national Register. From that point, we met baby's social worker, who verbally provided background information, and based on this –we decided to commit to this child and to go further: he indeed sounded like the perfect match for us in terms of age, ethnicity and religion.

Unfortunately, the baby's Local Authority social worker had never dealt with a relinquishment before after initially letting us believe that baby could be placed with us in November, he was finally placed with us in February. It was therefore very hard during these six months, between the moment we were first approached by the LA until we finally met our child. Thankfully we had the support of IAC and of our own social worker, who was very understanding and helped us through it all. We were also so fearful when we met him: we were afraid we may not gel or he may not "like" us. But he gave us the most beautiful smile and it was love at first sight!

However, in spite of the most painful experience with the LA, we were unbelievably lucky as our child is the most wonderful boy ever and a perfect match for us; and yes, we probably had it easy and we are sure that we would never have had such a "perfect" "intact" baby had we adopted from an institution abroad. Our first year was just about learning to know each other and developing a strong parent-child attachment: no health issues, no developmental problem, no particular difficulty, our son has completed adjusted to our family life and we cannot remember how it was before him. Even when he first arrived home, he reacted very well and although he was hard to put to sleep on the first week, (he was obviously waiting for foster mum…) he was completely used to us within four weeks; it went really smoothly and quickly and the relationship has kept growing since then. We have been offered the opportunity to live a scenario and a hurdle or problems which we finally did not have to face. We have focused on being parents, not therapists - it has been wonderful. Our baby is the best possible match for us, so it was all worth it.

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